Will I ever reach Document44?

Well, today is my first day back from a 4.5-day weekend. It was a pretty great weekend, complete with a trip to the beach, a concert (where I proudly picked up a guy in the 25-minute long beer line, only to be informed by my friend that "I think he likes boys"), a trip to FAO Schwartz, a game of croquet, lots of drinking, and THE PURCHASE OF MY NEW AIR CONDITIONER! That's right, I am now the proud owner of a 10,000 BTU beauty. And I love it more than I ever thought possible.
Anyhoo, I come into the office today to find that my email and internet are not working. And apparently, most of the people who use Macs in my office had the same problem. I'm just getting over my sense of outrage. First of all that no one has been able to send me emails since Saturday, and seconly because I had to restart my computer, thereby ending my longest ever run of "Document numbers" on Microsoft Word [you know, like when you open a new document, it's called Document1, then your second is called Document2, etc.]. I was up to Document43!
Now, some may argue that I am totally spoiled. I work in an air conditioned office and not only recieve free coffee and cool (or hot!) filtered water, I also get free tampons and a small discount on my Verizon Wireless bill. So what if my email's down, my company blocks the use of myspace and youtube, and no one bothers to send out a memo when the head of our department changes? But I think I do a lot for this company, including:
1. Work phrases like "touch base" into my vernacular
2. Read 2,000 crossword puzzles in two months
3. Wash my hair before I come into the office
4. Miss Oprah, Judge Joe Brown, and Judge Judy (not to mention Judge Hatchett), AND I don't even make enough to afford a Tivo
5. Hold meetings to discuss things like the merits of the "Mr. Wonderful" talking doll

I'm sure there's more. When I think of them I will post them. Meanwhile I have to go place my bets in the office baby pool. Don't ask.