Saturday, March 31, 2007

Afternoon Movie Review: The Bodyguard

There are some movies you don't rent, you don't buy, you don't even think, "gee, I'd like to see that." But then they come on TV on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon and you sit in your sweatpants a d watch them in their entirety. You know the ones I'm talking about: Ghost, Three Men and a Baby, Happy Gilmore. Kevin Costner stars in a lot of these movies, like Bull Durham, Field of Dreams, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and the subject of today's Afternoon Movie Review: The Bodyguard.

The Bodyguard follows a perfect Afternoon Movie plotline. Man meets woman and they don't like each other; Woman realizes man secretly has a hard-on for her; Woman unsheaves man's sword (in this case, the silk-cutting samurai kind); Man decides their night of passion can never happen again and woman gets pissed; Man decides he's leaving but gets drawn back because of a sense of duty; Man saves woman; woman stops plane and runs out and kisses him; brief "5 years later" scene; the credits roll in about 3.5 seconds so the network can cram more ads in.

Kevin Costner is perfect in this role. He's the unassuming guy who you tell yourself you don't think is hot but really you're totally willing to sit around to wait for him to get laid. And there's no denying this is Whitney Houston's best role ever. The movie even has the "creepy, almost albino-looking" character, and the hardened-man-is-actually-quite-good-with-kids theme. The only thing that could have made this movie better was a little more making out (only three scenes in the entire 2 hours), a tad more hand-to-hand combat (who doesn't want to see Kevvy punching someone out in the name of love?), and a scene where someone gets drunk and confesses something.

The best part about The Bodyguard was that it kept me from vacuuming. Now that it is over I will start the productive part of my day, sucking up cat hair and thinking about becoming famous so I can hire a sturdy man with a gun to protect me.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Ah, the PO

Here's a post on gothamist of a guy freaking out at my local post office. I went there once and never returned. Now you can see why. I think this clip really embodies the spirit of NYC. At first everyone is kind of freaked out, and then they start laughing.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

I'm Back and More Interesting than Ever

It finally happened. I bought a computer. And subsequently purchased the internet and cable, and now I never have to leave my home.
The great thing about a new mac is that it comes with a camera. There are a lot of things you can do with the camera, like have a video conference or take pictures of your boobs and put them online. I, however, have just taken a million pictures of front of the computer.
Now that I've enabled myself, expect a lot more posting, a mini-revamp of the site, and of course, more photos of yours truly

Monday, March 05, 2007

Johnny Five needs your help

Where have I been, you ask? I've been wasting all my freetime at, the site whose goal is to rate every man in history (fictional and not) based on how much hetero men are infatuated with them. For some reason watching Indiana Jones, Han Solo, and Harrison Ford battle it out (Harrison is way behind, probably because of Calista Flockhart) has totally captivated me. The best part is that you can nominate your own guys, and my guy needs your help.

That's right, Johnny Five is currently number 794 in the polls, under Dick Clark, Rush Limbaugh, and Moe the Bartender from the Simpsons. I urge all 3 of you who read this blog to go vote for him! If that bandana doesn't turn you on, what does, people?