Monday, November 26, 2007

for s.b.

Hello, friends, fans, and people who google "cock bulge," "splash mountain boobs," and "Mary Steenburgen nude"! I'm back after a deboucherous, dignity-defying, delicious weekend.

After a trip to the graveyard (left) and to Arby's, we settled in peter's bed with turkey sandwiches, several cokes, and lots of beer to watch 6 episodes of The Shield from the season 1 set I bought just so I could loan it to people. Damn, have I mentioned how good The Shield is? You can't blame me for trying to get you to watch it, because right now we live in a society dominated by pop culture slang terms like vajayjay. When the New York Times writes a piece on vajayjays, it's time to take action.

If more people watched The Shield, the word for vagina in our lexicon would instead be "yammy," which is so much easier to say while raising an eyebrow. Sure, it's in the urban dictionary, but not enough people know about this and the many other dirty lines on The Shield that the FX Network lets slip through. According to the commentary on the infamous "ass fulla cum and back fulla shiv" episode, most of them are penned by Kurt Sutter, shown here as Margos Dezerian, shooting an associate. Would you rather be saying a word that guy popularized, or one that Oprah has told America is "paining" her? (Let me let you think about that one for a minute.) Sure, some people have caught on--Michael Chiklis reports still getting "sweet butter!" yelled at him on the sidewalk (I would link to the video on youtube, but fox pulled it down)--but it is now time for you to take the mantle and go buy the Shield DVDs (not that the writers will get any money for that). If you start watching now, you'll be able to catch up in time for the final season.

What else are you going to do with your TV?

Saturday, November 10, 2007


sometimes you just get sick of yourself, and your blog. If it makes you feel better, pretend like I'm on strike.