Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Tips for the Temp

Oh, I spent many a summer day temping away. It was really what instilled in me my sicko love of the office, from replacing the toner in the copier do flirting with middle aged married men with ties. So here's some tips for you, SB, for your upcoming gig (you'll get one soon!):

1. Learn how to make the coffee. First of all, it forces you to engage in nonthreatening conversation with a fellow employee. Secondly, it gives you something to do. Thirdly, people always like the person who made the coffee. And finally, you’ll have coffee.

2. Make friends with the ladies before the men (this tip is for women only). Because admin assistants can get very territorial over the guys they have flirtatious banter with, and you don’t want to unknowingly step on any toes.

3. Figure out who the stupidest person is, and ask that person questions that anyone could answer. Such as, “how do you work the fax machine?” The stupid person doesn’t get asked questions a lot and will like you for making him or her feel intellectually superior.

4. If you don’t have anything to do, continually ask if anyone needs any help. This will either keep you busy and away from the temptation of the internet, or make the person who hired you guilty for not keeping you entertained, and therefore sympathetic.

5. Bring a book. Just in case.

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