Thursday, August 03, 2006

I would give a week's wages to watch Alex Trebek and Pat Sajack make out

So, my adoring (albeit imaginary) public, sorry I have not written all week. Vacation was wonderful, and refreshing, and as this little blog is mostly a diversion I needed it less, because life seems a little better after you’ve spent some time on the beach. My mother was an even better travel companion than I expected, and not only submitted to watching me drink a six-pack right in front of her, she even bought me a cooler so it would stay cold. Sometimes it’s hard being the biggest boozer in your family, but if there’s anything my mom does well it’s enable.

While I was on vacation I tried to catch the Wheel of Fortune/Jeopardy! power hour as much as possible, since I’m rarely in home in time to see it. It was “teen best friends week” on the WHEEL (as it’s called on the streets), which was horribly annoying. Each day they had a pair of nerds, a pair of black kids, and a pair of girls that could screech so piercingly that they broke the sound barrier. Pat Sajak’s ears starting bleeding during one show. As for Jeopardy!, I was lamenting the horrible “about the contestants” thing they do near the beginning. I just know these people have more interesting things to share than “one time I sat next to an old guy in England and he talked to me for about 10 minutes and I had no idea what he was saying the whole time.” I think if Alex had it his way, each contestant would share something about their sex lives.
“ collect cock rings?” or
“I hear you and your husband are swingers?” or
“So one time you were having sex with an old man for ten minutes before he realized you were a man?”
This would also help us, the viewer, figure out which person to root for better. Because everyone knows the kinkiest person always wins Jeopardy.

p.s. I will post the next exciting installment of Cat vs. AC soon.

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