24: The first four hours

So as if I have to tell you, this weekend is the "heart-pounding" 2-day premeire of 24, which, now that Lost sucks so bad, is my rasion d'etre. As I soak in the ticking clock and get more and more agitated that Jack Bauer is still into Audrey (unluckily for us her new show got cancelled), here are ten things I hope to see:
1. Jack yelling "drop the gun" at someone
2. A scene in which Jack, with no lack of metaphor, shears off his shaggy mane
3. An explanation of why Chole dyed her hair—and don't tell me it's to look hot for her ex-husband
4. Bill Buchannon in his undershirt
5. Jack shooting up some H, just for old times' sake
6. Kim Bauer to be fat, with a bunch of kids that are annoying the shit out of her
7. Tony Almeida to come back as a ghost that haunts the CTU iterrogation rooms
8. Guest star: Josh Holloway, as a sexy bad guy
9. Jack on an LA bus that can't go below 55 miles per hour or it blows up (it would take him about 20 minutes to remedy that situation)
10. The ticking clock to run at the bottom of the screen during commericials, so we can just how long those truck ads really are